1.31 - VAMONOS A LA HABANA!

There was a young girl from La Habana

Who had a bright colored bandanna,

But while in search of clean rhyme

Chucky ran out of time...

He's quite clearly no Carlos Santana!

Ahhhh Yes...  
It begins again Dear Hearts and innocent bystanders...

[Those familiar with Ribald & Raunchy Rhyme are breathing easy that no use of "Nantucket" was employed - those that aren't familiar with R&RR are probably scratching your heads about this note]

{AHEM... just get on with it... }

As many of you may know - or many more may not -  The Ever-Lovely Dragon Lady [a/k/a Ileana Canda Mercurio] is a native of LA HABANA, CUBA.  [Yes Dear Gringos, the spelling is correct - {click the link}] This is also why she has been referred to in past NOWAT... as the "The Cuban Lady".

AND... having been transported to the "U S of A" at the tender age of 7 by a very wise mother who sensed early on that Fidel was up to no good, it has long been her desire to revisit the land of her birth. However, never finding the right opportunity [both Fidel's and Uncle Sam's many restrictions not withstanding] nor having a close relative available to guide her search for her roots and renew childhood memories, it has only been a fleeting thought...
Until now!

Wham...BAM...Bada-Binngg - Out of the Blue, comes the news that "Cuz" of Tampa - Chelita Houston - along with her Sister Griselle Brooks - 'Other' Cuz of Tampa, [both also born in Habana] and their mother "Tia Chela" [a favorite aunt and last of Dragon Chick's mother's 6 sisters] are also eager to make the trek to the Mother Land.  This Great News of course once again sparks DL's desire to drag the Wacky American Tourist [like he really needs an excuse] on another Globe Trotting search for her roots - Remember 1800 miles of Root Tracking in NOWAT-ESPANIA 2002?

Also on this wild ride will be "Cuz" of Tampa's husband Doug, and their 2 sons Jessie & Jake. In all, 8 innocent but brave souls [OK, 7 Innocents and Chucky] are about to venture 90 miles south of Key West to explore the land of Sugar Cane, Powdery Beaches, Fine Rum, Robust Cigars, Antique Chevy's and a little Latin/Caribbean culture.

This rather hasty but meticulously planned excursion [that's his story and he's stickin' to it] is scheduled for March 9th thru the 16th and looks to be shaping up as quite an adventure.  Truth be told, Chucky has wanted to visit Cuba since 1957 when a trip with the family of a Cuban girl he dated in Jr High was aborted because Castro had begun his antics in the Sierra Maestra mountains and... well, that's a history lesson for another time.

"Cuz" has contacted a "OFAC Licensed" travel agent recommended by Another CUZ that makes the trip often [Oh Sure... NOW the Cuz's are comin' out of the woodwork!] who will process the necessary paper work for Visa's, Special Charter Flights, auto rentals etc.  Oh yeah, you need a special Federal License to book Cuban Travel [more about that later - it is quite involved]

Fortunately for all, there are still relatives in Habana, Another CUZ [or in Spanish "Prima"] Maria Niurka Valdez Montalvo y Collazo [say that three times fast after a few shots of Havana Club Rum] who has been most gracious with seeking adequate accommodations [2 couples, 2 late teen boys, a single woman and a wheelchair bound aunt - not an easy combo for rooms] and helping with other arrangements, sightseeing, dining, entertainment, etc. and who will try her very best to keep them out of trouble. [Yeah... Sure! It is apparent she has never had to deal with the Wacky American Tourist and his penchant for getting lost in all the right places - at all the wrong times.]

Once the agenda and travel arrangements have been formalized, we'll post it all as usual so you can follow this motley crew as they bounce along the pot holes and rutted roads of La Bella Cuba in search of:

The HABANA Girl's Roots
Cherished Relatives
Aged Habana Rum
Authentic Salsa lessons

More Aged Rum

and a Media Noche or two.

Not much else to relate at this time, but you just know it will get VERY involved once Chucky starts to plug in all the details.
[What... you expected anything less????]
Soooooo, stay Tuned Dear Hearts and other Innocents...

Ooooohhh this is gonna be Sooooo Much Fun!
HASTA LUEGO,

Uncle Chuck &The already looking for shoes to pack,

Cuban Lady

Gonna Ride Antique Chevy's, Munch Plantains & Sip Fine Aged Rum

2.13 - ¿DONDE ESTA MI PASAPORTE !?!

Now, the young girl Did miss her bandana

Said She, “I must return to Habana”

Chartered flights she did seek

So that in just a few weeks

She'd be lounging in a seaside Cabana

Not quite Kipling or Keats yet... but at least he’s still avoiding Nantucket.

So here’s The Thing [and as we all know, what usually follows is NOT The Thing] but in this case it DOES have everything to do with –The Thing – that being all the hoops the Cuban Lady, the Cuz’s and the other innocent tag-along’s will have to jump through to get back to her Mother Country.  

Oh… and you thought this was gonna be easy?!?  Silly you!

Travel Details 101 for Cuban Travel.

First Thing ya gotta do is secure the services of a Cuban Travel Service Provider licensed by O.F.A.C. [Office of Foreign Assets Control – an office within the Office of Terrorism and Financial Intelligence within The US Treasury Department].  OFAC provides several travel licenses one - a general license - that authorizes travelers to visit immediate extended family members (including uncles, cousins, and second cousins) that live in Cuba, without any restrictions regarding frequency and duration of visits.

Next, if you are a U.S. born Citizen, this OFAC approved agent can secure a special Visa and entry permit for your trip to Cuba. Then along with your US Passport or Green card and a $90 fee - you're ready to go. Such a Bargain!!!  Welllll… not quite!
There is a bunch of other stuff if you're not US Born, read on.

If you are Cuban born,  it gets even better -  just follow the bouncing ball below:

·        Persons who left Cuba before December 31, 1970 can travel to Cuba with their U.S. Passport (or Green Card) but need to apply for a PE-11 Visa  ß click the link to see this cute bit of bureaucratic goblety-gook provided by one such OFAC agency] and submit it along with a copy of your valid U.S. Passport (or Green Card) as well as a copy of any official U.S. document that proves residence outside of Cuba before 12/31/70 (for example old school or medical records, Pay Stubs, electric or phone bill in your name, Naturalization certificates, etc) to secure an entry permit.

·        Persons who left Cuba after December 31, 1970 must travel to Cuba using BOTH their Cuban AND American documents. This means you must have a valid U.S. passport or Green Card, and a Cuban passport with its corresponding Visa (or Habilitacion).

You then need to provide a copy of your valid Cuban passport with Visa (Pasaporte Habilitado) as well as a copy of your U.S. documents to secure an Entry Permit.

Cuban Born Visa’s are: wait for it… $210.  
Can you Say RIP-OFF?

Now you wait for 2-4 weeks to see if you're going, or if you're out $300!  Oh… and the visa’s are only good for 90 days so you better be “Ready to Hat Up” [old military jargon-meaning ‘put your hat on and get the hell outta Dodge'] and head south within 90 days of the date the Visa was issued.

Sooooo… now you got your dates straight and the Agent proceeds to book your flight – which only go on certain days, from certain cities at only a certain time – Going and Coming.  For example:

   If you're traveling from Tampa – such as “CUZ” of Tampa and her entourage and you go on Saturday, you  fly @1:20PM [with a 4 hour advance check in] and must come back on Saturday @10:30AM..

   But… if you're flying from Miami – like the Wacky American Tourist and the Ever-Lovely Cuban Lady, you can fly out on Saturday and can fly back either Saturday or Sunday – Go Figure.

The next HOT little bit of necessary information:  Your US Bank Credit cards [including your Bank issued Debit card and AMEX card] are USLESS IN Cuba!
SERIOUSLY... Ya just can't make this stuff up!

They don't take NADA.  Of course if you're lucky enough to have a Canadian, UK, Spanish, Italian Visa or Master Card from ANYWHERE else, your VISA is "Welcome where You Are".  Yeah, Uncle Fidel just hates Uncle Sam enough to make you have to take lots of CASH. [Guess he doesn't want to pay our credit processing fees] AND... if you want to convert US Dollars to CUC [Cuban Convertible Currency - the common cash in Cuba] you're gonna pay a 10% conversion tax in addition to whatever exchange rate you have to pay depending on where you choose to exchange.  Luckily there is a Bank next door to where we're gonna stay.  So.... we're gonna take Canadian Dollars for the trip, and here's why:

$USD converts in Cuba at +/- 3-4%+10% tax=14%/Dollar.

$USD to Canadian here cost 5-6% and converts in CUBA 1:1 saving 8-9% /Dollar thus a no brainer.

Thats enough mind numbing details for one day, we'll learn all about Car rentals, Accommodations and a host of other juicy travel factoids in the next episode.

And we haven't even gotten to fun of filling out the PE-11 application, internet access, bottled water, etc...

HASTA LUEGO,
Uncle Chuck and The Eyes already Blurring
Cuban Lady

Gonna Ride antique Chevy's, Eat Sweet Plantains, Sip Fine Aged Rum

2.22 - ¿CUÁNTO PARA ALQUILAR QUE CHEVY

And To search for a missing bandana
A girl needs a car in La Habana
While the cost may be heavy
She would like an Old Chevy
The color of a ripe Banana

Thankfully - still no Nantucket reference... He might just make it through this trip without one [but don't count on it]  Don't forget to click on the Blue Links for more info.

So as the lyric foretells, the Cuban Lady needs a proper carriage to get around to all the spots she yearns to revisit. Shouldn't be too complicated - there seems to be only a couple of choices for Car Rental vendors in Cuba and all seem to be handled by the same guy. Hmmm...  

After exhaustive research online, we found that our “Travel Provider” can save us the 10% $USD tax by booking Havanautos with her and paying for it here.  Of course had we booked it in January when first we started the quest, we would have saved the $100 bump incurred by waiting until last week, which pretty much negated the savings and then some.  At least her rates included the daily insurance.   Oh welllll. 
And...of course there is that $200 deposit that must be paid in CUC at the rental counter which means hitting the CADECA [Casas de Cambio SA ] at the Airport thus incurring an unfavorable exchange rate. 

Unfortunately for the Young Girl from Habana, there will be no Banana Colored Chevy [or "Giello Chebby" as it’s pronounced in Habana] they're actually too expensive and scarce to rent, so her chariot for the trip will be a “Hyundai Accent” [or Similar]. 

Then there's the issue of where our Heroine will rest her Ever-Lovely head after all this running to and fro - so comes the matter of accommodations.  
As previously mentioned – we are a party of 8 - [2 married couples, a single woman, 2 post teen boys and a wheelchair-bound Tia .  With rates at a {minimum} 3 star hotel [if there is such a thing in Habana] we're talkin' around $300 + per room/per night.  Not gonna work for this budget conscious group so the search for a Casa Particular, a private home that rents rooms for around $35 per night got kicked off back in October. Boy was that Fun! [NOT]. 

Again... Google led us to several Casas Particular Agencies who are all apparently handling the same properties, give or take a few.  Some are whole house rentals, others with a couple rooms here, and a couple there.  Getting the right combination with wheelchair access and secure parking for 2 cars… wellllll that was a real project.  We even got the Prima [CUZ in Habana] involved running around checking out potentials and coming up with a few alternatives herself.  Then it got even more complicated because Plan A [we’re now on Plan F] was to spend 4 nights in Habana and 3 nights at the Beach in Varadero.  That Plan got scrapped when I advised everyone that:

• Varadero is 3 hours from the Airport depending on traffic.
• The 10:30AM flight to Tampa requires a 3 hour check-in meaning they would have to leave Varadero at 3AM for enough time to return the car before exit processing - Not Happening.

Plan B was to spend 4 nights in Habana – 2 nights in Vardero, return to Habana for 1 night so it would only be ½ hour to the airport.  Again… not happening – Tia isn't up to all the tumult.

Plans C, D & E?... let's NOT go THERE now.

Sooooo, the search continued until early this month when we were finally able to secure the right combination of the rooms we need at a little place right off the Malecon behind the Hotel Nacional recommended by one of Chucky's golf buddy, an Irish Yacht captain that stays there several times a year.  It took a bit of negotiating since Plans A & B didn't appeal to her but locking in 5 rooms for 6 days rental did.  A fairly modern place [by Cuban Standards], she will provide breakfast for an added fee, with clean sheets and towels changed daily.

This is a great location since the Hotel Nacional has Internet access which is critical to CUZ of Tampa’s Husband Doug’s business. Although we’re told that while it ain't High Speed - it's better than dial-up and may make it easier to post NOWAT as long as the Great Firewall of CUBA doesn't interfere and or it's not too slow. Otherwise, we'll be composing NOWAT on the Fly and posting it in increments upon our return.

Well now...that should have your eyes glazing over for now so we'll get to more of the Chaos in the next post.

HASTA LUEGO,

Uncle Chuck & The Upset There's no Giello Chebby

Cuban Lady

Gettin' Ready for Hot Salsa, Sweet Plantains, & Fine Aged Rum

2.26 - TIEMPO PARA LOS ZAPATOS NUEVOS!

For this trip she must pack with great care

As into her closet she did stare

But she soon sang the blues

As she rummaged thru shoes

And cried “I must buy a new Pair”

Ok… no Nantucket yet but you just knew that sooner or later it would get around to SHOES!  Remember the Packing Ballet in NOWAT-TOSCANA2012? 

It was all about THE SHOES!

Yeah… she decided to re-evaluate what she needs to take that was comfortable yet light weight [she’s restricted to 44# of checked baggage] and has found that her "new" super comfortable Clarke sandals don't go with anything she plans on taking. This now gives her the perfect excuse to go shopping for MORE SHOES!

Now don’t get me wrong, a girl has gotta have the right shoes that will go with almost everything since luggage space is limited on this trip, but seriously… in a closet full of shoes, there HAS to be Something that matches what she already has!  Ok… Ok. I know we guys do have it made, a pair of loafers and pair of New Balance walkers and we’re good to go.  And in her defense, she does try to get by with as little footwear as possible but still, neutral sandals are NEUTRAL… they go with everything!  Welllll... apparently in this case – NOT.

Here’s the thing about space.  Our usual sojourns are 14+ days but we pack for JUST 8 expecting to do laundry somewhere along the way.  Chucky, the packing guru, packs very tight and we just barely make the usual international weight allowance of 50# per bag [and these are carry on sized bags!]. However...current regulations into Cuba allow 44# per checked bag per person and 15-20# total carry-on before a $1-2 per pound overage kicks in. So luggage space is at a premium as we are taking a bunch of stuff to the Cuz’s on the island that they cant normally get which adds unusual weight to the load, such as: shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, soap, olive oil, artificial Sweetener, disposable razors, over the counter medication – allergy meds, ibuprofen, bubble gum [yeah... for the kids] newspapers and magazines, discarded clothes,  etc – things we take for granted that are a luxury and scarce in Cuba.  All this stuff displaces SHOE SPACE and she is already moaning about having to reduce the number of pairs, usually 1 for every 2 outfits.  And we will NOT go into the number of outfits that are already on the bed for the practice pack...

Before we get too involved in the Packing Ballet and saga of Too Many Shoes – that will come next week - It's Uncle Chuck's Cuban Trivia Time.

We've had numerous queries about the picture at the Header of this NOWAT.  It is the Castillo de los Tres Reyes Magos del Morro at the entrance to La Habana harbor better known as Morro Castle <-- [Click the link for more info]

To keep this one short as promised, there is more about regulations and restrictions regarding Cuban travel, we'll wrap this up for now – we’re still waiting for the special visa’s to arrive and its gonna be close.  The Flight is already booked and I'm  not sure the tickets are refundable if we don’t get the travel papers in time.  

Fingers crossed, chanting a Tibetan Mantra - Ooooooommmmm!

HASTA LUEGO,

Uncle Chuck & The Anxious to get Shoe Shopping

Cuban Lady

Gettin' Ready for Hot Salsa, Sweet Plantains, and Fine Aged Rum

3.2. - ¡MI VISA SIGUE DESAPARECIDO!

To Habana our girl is now bound

Yet Her Visa is nowhere around

While the shoes have been sorted

The trip may be aborted

If the Visa cannot soon be found!

Still no Nantucket references, but a larger issue has now arisen.

Due to delayed handling of the special Visa application, it didn't get to Washington until the 8^th of Feb almost a month after our "Travel Provider" said we should get it there.  Then the Cuban Lady gets a very disturbing call on the 20th from “Cuban Consulate Special Interest section” in Washington, DC to re-confirm all her actual birth names, [why we have NO idea, since she has had several variations since then – we wont go into that]. Anyway...the lady on the phone advised that we would receive the documents the following week.  

Guess what? It's now the end of “the following week” and… 

NO VISA!

This is very frustrating because now it really cuts down the time we can order the Canadian currency for delivery to our bank in time, not to mention shortening the time we have to cancel the rental car and plane tickets without incurring a penalty.  Of course the “Travel Provider” can’t get the Cuban Consulate to answer a phone call or any e-mail so we can’t even trace anything once they have it in their hands. 

Chucky even tried all the numbers listed for them… NaDa… they REALLY DONT answer phones.  He even called the Swiss Embassy under whose protection the "Cuban Consulate Special Interest Section" falls, and they can’t help saying they get LOTS of calls about the Cuban’s not answering the phones.  

NOW WHAT?!?!?!

Apparently the only option we have is to wait until Tuesday, the last day to cancel the car and order currency.  The only Good News in this scenario is that we have 90 days to use the Visa from date of issue.  Sooooo, the “Travel Provider” can change the flight date to a month and half later then cancel it next week to save the penalty and then reschedule when we get the Visa. So what if if will cost me $140 more to take only USD instead of CAD but hey... it's only money.

NOW… this puts a crimp on “Cuz” and her crew since a van to handle their party of 6 is $150 more than 2 cars would have cost split between us so they will probably be better off with 2 cars, still double what they had planned on..

Of course The Visa could arrive on Wed, Thur or Fri, and we may be able to reschedule a flight  on Monday or Wednesday if there’s still room on one of those flights and still hook up with them in Habana, but the car issue would be complicated.  If that turns out to be the case, maybe they can rent one car and 2 of them take a cab into town along with the “CUZ of Cuba” until we get there.

Hey…  ITS ALWAYS SOMETHIN’!!! With the Wacky American Tourist and the Ever Lovely Cuban Lady…Ya just knew there would be Chaos and Drama involved - just not this soon in the story before the Usual Departure Chaos which,  if this thing plays out along these lines… will surely prove to be More than Interesting… maybe even a Master Card Moment - PRICELESS.

Stay Tuned… this is gonna be a VERY bumpy next couple of days.

My head is already spinning, where are those aspirins...

Wait, Make that a TALL Scotch.... 

 HASTA LUEGO,

Uncle Chuck & The Very Upset That There's No Visa Yet

Cuban Lady

Gettin' Ready for Hot Salsa, Sweet Plantains, and Fine Aged Rum

3.5 - ¡POR FIN, TENEMOS LA VISA!

Hooray the Visa is here!

On her face a Smile did appear.

So Shoe shopping she’ll go

It’s most important you know

To stroll El Malecon in Style, My Dear!

Nantucket's still on the shelf -  But... She  is ONE HAPPY Cuban Lady!!!

Not that Chucky wasn’t running to the mailbox every 20 minutes while she sat and fretted.

Ok… it was Chucky fretting that she would miss her trip, the Cuban Lady took the “lo que será, será” [what will be, will be] stance, pretending that all was well in her world, while we all know inwardly she was quite “Verklempt”.  But our friends at the e-mail ignoring, phone un-answering Cuban Consulate in Washington finally came through, albeit one month after we applied – talk about your dysfunctional bureaucracy.

BUT THEN… after celebrating and rushing to advise her entire Facebook following of the good news, the panic once again set in. While carefully checking the “Permiso de Entrada” she notices that it is in her birth name only “Ileana Teresa Canda Montalvo”, with no mention of Mercurio or any of her many other names.  For example: her Naturalization Certificate reads Ileana Chouinard [her married name at that time] no Montalvo.  AND… her US Passport is in an entirely different name as is every other form of identification etc.  Now she’s worried that she may either not get into Cuba… or even worse, cant GET OUT!!!! 

Chucky tries calming her with the logic, that research on Trip Advisor shows that the Cubans don’t even recognize an American Passport and don’t even stamp it at immagration coming in or out unless you ask them to. The only thing that counts is that she has the “Permisso de Entrada” - Top half to get into the country and the bottom half to get out.  Hey… W T F so she’ll have an extended Caribbean vacation!  This is NOT what she wanted to hear!  Soooo... Fingers Crossed - Chanting a Tibetan Mantra... Ooooommmmm

Now all attention turns to final preparations.  Currency buys, Shoe Shopping, assembling supplies for the “CUZ”  in Cuba, also getting stuff together for our Host “Maria on Linea” as she has  come to be called, Shoes, adequate prescriptions meds, getting an old Blackberry unlocked for emergency use in Cuba, Travel Sized toiletries [curse you TSA] did I mention Shoes?   Yes Elyse this also includes a “Practice Pack”, even though Chucky is resigned to the fact that there WILL probably be extra weight charges no matter how hard he tries to avoid it.

Then there is the meticulous printing out Google Map directions to various places on the agenda - not that they have ever done much good in the hands of the navigationally challenged “Navigator Illy” – remember no cell phone data connection for Google Maps Navigation help.  Then Chucky discovered the he can download certain Map shots as “Offline Maps” to his Galaxy S II wondering if it can be done with her iPad as well [nope]  We'll see how it works out on his phone when he gets there.  

The  other reason he’s taking a non-functioning smart phone along in addition to the emergency GSM Blackberry is that it has his travel tunes and E-Books  loaded so he doesn’t have to carry paper-backs for flight and airport  down time as well as a translation app and currency calculator.  Of course any other down time in Cuba will involve large quantities of adult beverages, visiting some famous Jazz clubs, a little Salsa dancing and composing NOWAT – not necessarily in that order.

It’s late and he has lots to do in the AM along with a little REAL business to conduct so we'll say buenas noches for now and pick this up again when he decides he has something else clever to say.

 HASTA LUEGO,

Uncle Chuck & The Oh So Happy to have Visa in Hand

Cuban Lady

Seriously Ready for Hot Salsa, Sweet Plantains, and Fine Aged Rum

3.7. - ¡AHORA ... EL BALLET DE EMBALAJE!

So now Visas and Tickets are in

Let the Packing Ballet Begin

The STUFF we must take

Would make a Weaker Man Quake

But to go empty handed is a SIN.

Nantucket still on the shelf and the Frantic Frenzy to Fetch Stuff to Take is now in full swing

This will be brief, its late and.... well read on...
As previously mentioned, every day commodities on the island are a premium so the Costco, Publix and Walgreens runs have begun.
Fortunately this week, a good deal of what we need to take is on SALE [just one of her favorite 4 letter words… like SHOP, MALL, SHOE… you get it] so BoGo is the word of the day for Olive Oil, Razors, Candy, Shampoo, Conditioner etc.

Of Course, going to Costco for “Just a Couple of Things” is a physical impossibility.

“Oh Look… Chicken’s on Sale”

“Hey Look Honey, they have your Favorite Bread”

“Oh My, that ________ [fill in the blank] Looks Yummy”

“Better pick up those ribs for dinner”

And of course the Liquor cabinet needs stocking And… And…. You get the drill.  

Getting out of Costco on the Cheap… Not happening.

  

So now… its back to the house to unload more STUFF than we went for - sort out all the STUFF we're taking – give the dog a bath, start another load of laundry, clean the stove… Oh, yeah… and start the Packing Ballet.

We have a full agenda for the next couple of days so I need to get a jump on getting the stuff packed [screwy Weigh limitations etc] and we just got word of a funeral we need to attend Friday so that will cut into some prep time.  Besides, the sooner I can get the STUFF accounted for and my STUFF in the bag, I can start with her “In The Bag – Outta The Bag” routine.  Thank GAWD its only 7 days and the number of “Outfits” is limited… NOT.

Here”s a glimpse of My bag, that most of you saw on the SPECIAL ALERT email with some  of the STUFF – Minus more Shampoo, Conditioner, Olive Oil, Sweetener, Chocolate Kisses, Disposable Razors etc. and most of my cloths...

and then there's HER Bag, 

Ok… so she hasn't really started yet with the – taking it out of the Closet, putting it on the bed, I pack it – she takes it outta the bag and back into the closet… Yeah the Packing Ballet.

Damn good thing I got more Scotch at Costco!!!

HASTA LUEGO,

Uncle Chuck & The Shop ‘till You Drop

Cuban Lady

Craving Tangy Salsa, Sweet Plantains, and Fine Aged Rum

3.8. - ¡EL BALLET CONTINUA!

Now it's off to the mall for those Shoes

But for most of us this ain't Big News

Other errands she will run

Having way too much Fun

While Chucky Hums the Packing Ballet Blues

Still no Nantucket… getting close though 'cause he’s running out of Rhyme… but still safe so far.

Yes… we’re back to the Packing Ballet Blues – to the tune of Bob Seger's “Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll” but much more softly this time.  As you saw in the last post, Chucky is nearly done with his bag and after today’s run to finish getting the rest of the STUFF – he’s ready to get it all on the Scale. But first…

The latest hot flash from the “Travel Provider” is that the 44# limit is enforced at MIA on departure at $2 per# over and not on arrival in Cuba as previously reported.  This is somewhat good news as the fee will be paid in USD without having to hustle to change the CAD to CUC.  Since we travel on US Passports [the other silly Visa’s not withstanding] we are exempt from excess baggage charges on arrival at Jose Marti Airport.  

So now the Tale of the Scale…. Drum Roll Please. 

42.37 lbs.

Says the nifty digital hand held scale he got from Amazon at the behest of several Trip Advisor tips. Not bad, and that’s with all the heavy stuff in his bag, so with a little re-arranging he should be able to get the rest of HIS personal stuff in and have them both under the wire if he packs her carefully… yeah right.

A note on the hand scale:  Trip advisor advises to keep it handy at check as it has been reported that some charter services agents try inflating the weight for more revenue, and showing them your scale tends to back them off.  We’ll see, but I don’t think we'll need deal with that.

She’ s already started with the 1^st “on the bed to be packed” – Layout and its anybody’s guess how many there will be before late Friday night but he thinks this time she may have it down to 2 or 3 at most, she really is getting better at figuring what to take… or so she claims.  Before she headed out for Shoes and errands she had 1^st Layout done and he was sneaking up on it to get started with some of the “ya know this and that is Going” until she stopped him cold with a snear and,,,

 “WAIT… I’m not done yet!”

“But my dear… I'm only trying to gauge space.”

“It can wait till Friday when I'm done with Layouts 2&3 

I may have to change something”

{Like THAT’s Big NEWS!}

“What?”

“Nothing Dear… I don’t intend to be packing till all hours of the night Friday with a 6:30AM check-in”

“But, I’m not done…”

He cuts her off with “I'll just roll what you've got now, 

and you can take out what you're gonna change, 

this way I'll have a head start on most of it.  

Its not like this will be the first “In-da-bag – Outta-da-bag”

She mumbles something in “Dragon Speak” and heads to the laundry room to retrieve the rest of Layout 1 before heading out, And the beat goes on…

6:30PM and time to pick up Brian at FLL, whose flight is late, but hey… its Air Tran… lucky it was only 20 minutes… they’ve been know to cancel at the last minute because the crew overslept or something, don’t get me started about that bunch.

The Short of it, after a quick Left over Buffet, Chiucky gets most of IT ALL in the bags with one minor substitution and 2 blouse hold-outs and we’ve got room and Pounds to spare!

Of course that’s until she starts looking at it again tomorrow… maybe I'll keep the bag locked and she’ll forget… Yeah Right.

“... Still like that old time rock 'n' roll 

The kinda music just soothes the soul 

I reminisce about the days of old 

With that old time rock 'n' roll...”

Like Sista Elyse said earlier today, good thing Costco Sells Scotch, now where’s that Dewars...

HASTA LUEGO,

Uncle Chuck & The Humming a Different Tune

Cuban Lady

Aching for Hot Salsa, Sweet Plantains and Fine Aged Rum

3.8. - BALADA DE LOS DESAPARECIDOS BLUSAS

So off to the Malls she did go

But it wasn’t for shoes, oh No

She still needed two more tops

Neither Tank tops nor Crops

But sleeves so her shoulders wont show

Still avoiding Nantucket like the plague but he’s REALLY struggling here.

First… she decided that the NEUTRAL  Clarke sandals WOULD go with mostly everything, so the shoe search was suspended but then…

Remember the two missing blouses she had yet to layout for the pack?  Just two blouses… TWO FREAKING BLOUSES!!!  What could be so hard.  

3 malls, 42 stores, 23 miles, and some serious Chucky patience were expended in the early hours of the Friday night and what did it net???? 1 FREAKIN’ blouse!!!

By 9PM he had had it and declared it was time to eat, and headed for the nearest mall exit as she trailed behind mumbling Dragon Speak and something about not having anything to wear in Cuba.  Oh yeah… Right!?!

Meanwhile, Brian has half the 1989 Monsignor Pace Varsity Basketball team partying at the house after the funeral who on our arrival were headed out for Wings and beer [after they emptied my fridge and beverage center] and promised to have him back by 5AM to take us to the airport.  SAY WHAT?!?!

After rummaging the closet one last time, she finally finds another blouse to go with the recent purchase… along with 3 other, previously unworthy tops to now be added to the rapidly approaching weight limit suitcase.  A bit of juggling between bags, and addition of a “Beach Bag” carry on with towels for Varadero’s sugary beach, along with excess STUFF that wont fit in the bags, and the Packing Ballet finally concludes.  

Whew… just in time for a 1AM shower and off to Zzzzzzzzz land until the real Departure Chaos begins, which may or may not come by E-Mail.

This may be the last ONLINE post to NOWAT-Habana2013, unless Chucky finds a safe way to post from the balky internet at the Hotel Nacional De Cuba.

That being the case, we will revert back to an all E-Mail NOWAT as we did from CHINA because of the Great Firewall and post all the emails sequentially to the Blog on our arrival home.

Or, he may just compose each days events and post them all on return to the good ole US of A.

Stay tuned… this could get VERY interesting.

Uncle Chuck & The Still mumbling about missing STUFF

Cuban Lady

Ready for Mojitos, Puerco Asado and Sweet Plantains

3.9 - GETTING OUTTA CASA D’CHAOS

Oh tired that deeply she did slumber

And for two hour Chucky cut some Lumber

When at 5AM her alarm did clang

And from her deep sleep she sprang
So What if 5AM is just a number

Another reprieve for Nantucket, still struggling, let the Departure Chaos commence.

Fortunately the Varsity team was true to their word and Brian was just in watching TV when all the bells went of.  Her Alarm, His Alarm, Both Phone Alarms, her ipad alarm and his laptop.  They weren’t taking any chances if you remember the wake up call, or lack thereof for China.

Only thing left to pack were the toiletries, his Laptop, 5 more blouses… just kidding, and they were good to go with Departure scheduled for 10 minutes to 6 to insure they would be there at 6:30, but of course it was 6:!5 out of the driveway.  Tranquil  Brian delivered them to Terminal G at MIA at 6:47.

Finding Sky King Airlines [baby boomers will get a kick out of the name] was easy… seeing the length of the line was not.  And of course, there is NO help directing traffic or advising which line you should be in for what as we came to find out by overhearing numerous groups discussing what they SHOULD have done first.  While Chucky tried to scout out the situation, Cuban Lady made friends with the couple ahead of us who we later found out were part of a Humanitarian group [there were A LOT of them] this is when she found out that you first had to check in with your passport and Visa at one station [not the one with a long line] where they took all our information, copied the Visa’s, and handed the paperwork off to the baggage checkers.  Then you went back into the now much longer line, and waited to check you bags and they handed the paperwork off to someone else, then went to another line to wait for your name to be called to get your tickets and pay the $20 baggage fee.  All the more reason to deal with a Travel Provider that has an agent on site to guide you through the process as did all the groups.  Curb to Ticket in hand - headed to the Gate – 1½ hours.

A pleasant surprise while we waited in the baggage line, Any and Nelson Gonzalez showed up to see us off… welllll not really, they were dropping off another of their cousins [Please don’t ask how many cousins she has…] who was also flying to Cuba but on another airline.  Being a NOWAT junkie, Nelson knew we were somewhere in MIA so imagine my surprise when the phone rang and I hear… “Where are you, I'm on the curb at terminal G.”  They found us in line - hugs & kisses around and they kept us company till the line started to move.

Thanks guys… it was great to see you again.  And thanks for the tip about not drinking the water.

Then came Security.  Another line of unmentionable length, complicated by our Congressional Sequestration – 6 X-ray screening belts, 5 Body scanners and only 2 x-ray machines and one scanner are manned… and the scanner seemed to be very balky.  After getting all our STUFF on the X-Ray belt, we line up for the scanner, Of course Chucky forgot his shoes while trying to wrangle the computer, camera case, beachbag carry on, etc, and have his computer case rejected and realigned in the machine twice.

Shoes on the belt… way out of line with his STUFF - he steps into the body scanner…HONK…not really, it just doesn’t want to scan.  “Step out of the Scanner sir” as the army of scanner officials surround the machine and tinker with it for 3 minutes… “Step into the Machine Sir.” Swish….Swish… “Damn, Step out of…. Oh wait… ok Stand still” …Swish..Swish…”Ok… come ahead.”

He now joins the Cuban Chick who with a smirk asks, “So… did you break the machine?” 

From Curb to past security… 2 ¼ hours

We grab the STUFF and move away from the out belt of the X-ray machine and proceed to get dressed, stow the STUFF and make off for Gate E-31, totally missing any [if there ever was any] indications that you had to take an elevator to the 4^th floor to get on the train to another building to get to Gate E-31.  Soooooo…. We keep walking only to find that the numbers stop at E-20.  Chucky stops at the coffee stand to ask “E-31?” only to be directed all the way back to security to look for a poorly marked elevator to the 4^th floor and Gate E-31.

A quick stop at Café Versailles for a croissant, pastelito and coffee and we camp at the electronic charging station at E-31 until the flight is called.  Boarding is relatively painless we drew the double lucky card, Aisle seats in the emergency exit row with tons of leg room and pleasant seat mates.  Curb to Seat

I'll wrap this part up and get on with the flight to La Habana in the next edition… The Departure Continues…
Getting this post up was a real chore with certain connections being blocked by the great firewall of... well you know... we'll try one more time, and then may seriously make this an all E-Mail NOWAT.

HASTA LUEGO,

Uncle Chuck & The Frustrated with Poor Airport Signage

Cuban Lady

Gettin' Ready for Hot Salsa, Sweet Plantains, and Fine Aged Rum

3.9 - NO HAY SUS RESERVACION SENIOR

So at last she is on her way

Her excitement she can’t belay

To La Habana she is Bound

A Bandana to be Found

And old family to embrace this day!

Nantucket may never make it to Nowat, which will leave some very happy while others a bit sad.  Only time will tell.

We last found our erstwhile globe trotters boarding Flight 5K 1801 bound for La Habana Cuba…

So we push back from the gate and stop, short of the Jet Way.  What now?  We sit… and sit… and… now one of the two captains – oh yes… it takes Two Captains to get the rowdy bunch on this plane to Cuba -  comes on the intercom with… “Uh, folks, we have to call the office about some paper work we need to fill out so were gonna be a bit late for take off.  I can either pull back to the gate which will make the wait longer, or stay here while we fill out the paperwork.  We'll stay here.”

Paper work??? Is this your first flight… is this and Ooooopppps?  Not getting a warm and fuzzy feeling about this – two captains and all.

So we sit on the ‘Tarmac for another 20 minutes and finally move on to line up for take off a half hour late. Captain #1…or maybe #2 RAMS it to make up for lost time, which he did and after an uneventful flight touched down at Jose Marti International Airport at 11:45.

The cheers and applause that broke out just as we landed said volumes about the emotion onboard.

Watching the Cuban Lady as we touched the soil of her birth for the first time in 54 years, was priceless.  The raw emotion on her face, the damp eyes and clinched jaw told me she was truly overwhelmed.  A sight we don’t often see. 

As we deplaned she just stood and stared with that Fabulous smile, that said, “Home at Last!”  Chucky couldn’t handle it and started getting all verklempt for her.

Then came Passport control – 40 minutes, and of course they could only handle 1 at a time, even if you were married.  You get the usual stare, at you and your passport, then – “Please to stand back, take off your glasses, look at the camera.” As the photograph you, then shuffle more paper, stamp… stamp… STAMP… “Gracias, Welcome to Cuba.”

Now comes security x-ray screening [coming into an airport ?!?] 10 minutes and of course they had to scan Chucky’s carry on with the laptop… 4 times.  After a lot of questions, they realized the strange metal showing through his laptop wasn’t a secret weapon being smuggled into the country, but 2 mini umbrellas in the pull-along-slot.

And THEN there was baggage retrieval. 20 minutes.  Probably the most dysfunctional system yet… 2 belts going different directions with one…. Bag…. At… a… time… trickling out of the chute.  [They’re probably rummaging the ones not shrink wrapped.] That's when we find that everyone ahead of us had started grabbing bags at random and taking them off the belt and leaving them wherever.  We finally round up all of our luggage, only to find that Dear TSA at MIA had busted the TSA Approved Lock [which they are supposed to have a key for] as well as the hasp to rummage through Chucky’s bag.  Probably the artificial Sweetner packets he had flattened out in zip lock bags to save space triggered the search… so the Cuban Lady says.

Now its off to customs but since we have nothing to declare, we breeze through health control and out the doors, forgetting to stop at the Casa de Cambio [money changer] to convert the CAD.

Plane to exit…1+ hours… better than predicted by our “Travel Provider”

The CUZ of Cuba, Niurka and her hubby Ramon are right there with the sign MONTALVO [Family name] and the hugs [abrazos Fuerte] and Kisses [Bessos mucho] go around and we head to retrieve the car.

That’s when Chucky realizes he forgot to get CAD changed to CUC inside arrivals and has to trot all the way to Departures, to stand in line at the Casa de Cambio there.  3 windows - 1 attendant and an American changing $USD3000.  The lady is inspecting each and every bill One… At…  A… Time… some twice.  By the time a second attendant shows up, counts her bank, and handles 2 ahead of me… he’s still waiting for change and she’s still holding up every bill to the light, One… At… A… Time…

CUC’s in hand I look for Ramon who they wouldn’t let wait with me because he didn’t have a flight ticket or passport to show and we then headed to get the car.

And of course… HAVANA/AUTO   does not have our reservation in their system - SAY WHAT!!!! Now we scramble…”maybe it’s that office over there,” says the nice man, pointing to Cuba Cars…when our voucher clearly says HAVANA/AUTO. 

“Wait… that’s not what this says,” protests Chucky pointing to the Voucher.  “No problem… es Mismo [the same].  Yeah… its all government owned and controlled.

AND yes… the nice lady across the hall does have the reservation and all is well again in Chucky’s panic stricken world.   But what she doesn’t have… is a car… yet, maybe in one hour mas o menos [more or less] SAY WHAT?

The reservation was confirmed for 10AM to insure we would be good to go on arrival.  Its now 1:45PM and it will be another hour??? Yeah I guess we are officially on Cuban time.

So we go for a quick sandwich and a Bucanero Fuerte [local beer] next door, and an hour and 40 minutes later, we have a car.  Scratch and dent check around, pictures taken and we load bags.

By now the Tampa bunch has landed, so no need to run into town and come back for them… we'll just cool heels till they get through the arrival gauntlet.

We'll pick up on their arrival, another round-about auto rodeo and the rest of our first day in Cuba in the next post.

Yeah… the Chaos continues, but we’re getting closer to Casa Maria and the Malecon…Stay tuned.

HASTA LUEGO,

Uncle Chuck & The Grinning with Joy To Be Home

Cuban Lady

Drinking Bucanero Beer, Fine Aged Rum and Munching Plantains Chips