DOCUMENTING FOR OUR FAMILY, FRIENDS AND OTHER INNOCENT BYSTANDERS,
THE SIGHTS, SOUNDS AND TASTES OF OUR VARIOUS ADVENTURES.


HI THERE AND WELCOME!!!
You were probably directed here by
some mis-guided soul who thought
that you could use a chuckle or two.
See how The NOWAT series began at:
View a slide show on the right.
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UNCLE CHUCK NOTE:
SINCE THIS WAS PUBLISHED in 2013, USA & CUBA RELATIONS
HAVE CHANGED, THEREFORE SOME OF THE DETAILS
ABOUT ARRANGING A TRIP TO CUBA MAY BE DIFFERENT THAN WHAT IS DESCRIBED HERE... BUT THIS IS HOW IT WAS IN 2013



{Click me and Read On}

3.11 - LA TORRE, LA CENA Y VINO DERRAMADO

To La Torre the girls did go
To join Tia for the view below
But as the hour grew late
Dinner was the debate
And later maybe a show?

Nantucket looms farther and farther on the Horizon, perhaps lost here for good… but then again there’s always Brutha Earl’s labor of love.  Time will tell…

We Resume Monday's Saga, sit back kiddies...the finale is a tad longer than usual
Since the girls aren't back from the beach yet, Doug and Jake decide on a power walk as Chucky settles in to reconstruct the NOWAT G-Mail list since GoDaddy is blocked.  Time flies and the girls get back around 5:00PM and just then Prima calls and tells them to come over to the FOCSA Tower for a drink and the view.  “CUZ” declines as does Jessie so Cuban Lady and Other “CUZ” head over to meet Tia and Prima, much to the dismay of the guys, as nothing has been planned for dinner and after their power walk, they are ravenous.  Sooooo…. Chucky keeps typing away, the boys grab a shower.

Las Mujeres Vedado finally return at 8:00PM with a happy Tia who was misty about the view from La Torre and dinner is still being debated.  It was a firm No to La Casona - been there done that, as well as Nacional Pizza Café, [Ugh] so again Maria La China [hereafter referred to as La China so as to not be confused with Mary Niurka Valdes Montalvo-Collazo] is consulted about the place across the street.  She prefers La Casona but some of her boarders go across for breakfast and café so the vote is “Let's cross Linea”. In the meantime, “CUZ” announces she is “ready to go hear some Musica Latina tonight” and after much discussion they all [Chucky] decides that they'll go to SALSEANDO CHEVERE, considered one of the hottest dance clubs in Havana. [The Miami-born Salsa Boy is ready to crack his best moves at a REAL Salsa Club] So everyone heads back to their rooms to change into more appropriate “Dance Club” attire while Chucky drives Prima home and returns to find some still not ready… What’s new?  Oh… and Jessie elects to stay home and eat peanut butter wraps. [Jess... you're in Cuba fer Gawd's Sake, you can eat peanut butter at home!!!]

Now on the move, getting Tia and the wheelchair across the busy street was a joint tactical exercise  over the median, up the sidewalk, up the steps, across the patio, now with cane - up more steps...
At the door we are met by a solemn Señorita who, when asked “Can we eat here and what do you have” answers, “We have Food.”  Chucky is not getting a good feeling about this already, maybe why La China was hesitant to recommend the place.  Soooooo, once settled outside we are greeted by a another cheerful Cute Señorita who hands us “the Menu” - to be clear - One Menu... that’s all they have.  REALLY not getting a good feeling about this. 

While we have someone’s attention: A bottle of Wine is ordered... She’ll see if they have THAT label today...W T F?
  
So in the meantime - it's Pictures Time. Everyone gets out their iPhone, Samsung, non-smart phones [shouldn't it then be a Dumb Phone?] and even a couple of cameras and one by one attempt to get everyone’s attention... SMILE---WHISKEEEYYY – Yeah Right!... 
Hey let's asks Door Señorita to use Cuban Lady’s camera for a group shot, since each phone shot was missing the photographer. Ironically this is the only pic of the "lado de la calle - [{place}across the street]" and of the night. Chucky usually snaps pics of “Everything “ along the way including signage which in this case only said "Bar", too many distractions we guess.

Of course Cute Señorita doesn't have the label touted as the “Especial de La Casa”, but magically she Does have this lovely Chilean Malbec label 1½ times the cost... How convenient!  Tired of Bucanero and Crystal, they don’t argue and the wine is opened – painfully - the poor girl breaks the cork, has to go inside and have the boss finish opening it and comes back and pours around... hmmmm 7 people, a bottle serves 5... streeetttcchhh it babe, and she promptly disappears as we all enjoy our little bit of Vino Tinto and chat about the day.

Already 9:00 we need to order [Jake is ready to start chewing on somebody’s arm]... where is she... it can't be that busy... we're the only ones here.  20 minutes later Cute Señorita reappears - [Door Señorita must have told her we were getting antsy].  Orders are taken, after a big debate over odering seafood or not in a place like this so Ropa Vieja is the pretty much unanimous, while Chucky decides to take a chance on La Zarzuela de Camarones Especiales [a BIG Chance we're soon to find] with a side of black beans..."sorry we don't have any today."  W T F – NO Black Beans!?! This is Cuba for Gawd's sake!!!

Now they start to pass around the phones and cameras for a peek at the various “Group Shots” [minus 1] and as Chucky reaches across the table to take “CUZ’s” phone, the Cuban Lady re-positions her wine glass, his thumb hits the stem and guess who is now wearing the complete contents of her wine glass on her new Khakis and blouse?  Yup, our very own Vedado Girl... Ain't it amazing how far so little wine can go on a new pair of Khakis!!!  So now... does she rush home to change and risk cold food... if it ever comes, or just sit in wet, red, clammy slacks and worry about it later?  And of course we now hear: “You should put cold water on it”... No Ice Cubes... I've been told use Seltzer Water...”  “NO” Chucky says firmly,  "It's a Cabernet grape, water will turn the spot an indelible black... If you can wait, we'll use the peroxide and baking soda we always pack to keep it from setting.”  She elects to wait for dinner - "We'll see about it later", she says - staring daggers at the Little Italian Man.  

Dinner FINALLY arrives [Jake swears they had to first find a cow to kill for the Ropa Vieja] and most of it is passable, Except… Chucky bites into the “Fresh" Camerones Especiales and... No Crunch… more like Musshhsh.  Trying another, some crunch… the short of it, if  his sinuses weren't so irritated from all the diesel exhaust from converted 1950 Chevy's, he might have detected the Ammonia smell of  bad Shrimp. Normally he would not hesitate to bring it to someone’s attention but he doesn't see either Door Señorita or Cute Señorita anywhere and was so hungry, he just makes a meal of the rice in garlic sauce [no black beans today] and vegetable sides. He did tell them about the spoiled shrimp as they were leaving... only to get a defensive “You can’t eat the whole thing and then say its bad”, AT-TI TUDE and he hastened to reminded Cute Señorita that he has already paid and wasn't looking for anything, just asking her to alert the kitchen to check the Shrimp before someone gets VERY sick.
Yeah...like she's really gonna do that..
Chucky's Meal Rating: Service minus 2 stars, Food minus 1 star [Ropa Vieja was "OK"], Wine: Good [except for the spilled part] Ok... wine is always Good, just some"Gooder" than others.

Of course by now, with wine spotted khakis, the late hour and the mood totally dampened, the consensus is to skip CHEVERE [Chucky is NOT pleased with this – he has been itching to get there since they landed-"Hey... The clubs don't start hopping till 11PM"]. Soooo, back down the steps, across the patio, down the step, off the curb, across the median, up the curb... and “Expedition Montalvo”  is back at 55 Linea.

As Chucky attempts spotting the stains with peroxide and stops to go get the baking soda to make a paste, Maria la China [unbeknownst to him] decides to try spotting it with water... Oooopppppsssss, too late,  Red turns Black, but bless her well meaning heart, she  now throws them in the washing machine with cheap soap.  The Khakis are officially ruined.  Apologies around... Hey, it's only a pair of slacks, albeit the only dress slacks she has packed.

Everyone heads to Zzzzzz land and Chucky sets up to compose more NOWAT.  

Stay tuned for a day with Hero Memorials, the Necropolis de Cristobal Colon, a Visit to Tia’s former house in Vedado, and a hastily produced dinner at home, on the Island with more running 1949-56 Chevy’s then in all the collections worldwide.

HASTA LUEGO,
Uncle Chuck & The sulking over wine stained Khakis
Cuban Lady
They're Sippin' cheap Cabernet in the land of Old Jello Chebby's

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